Saturday, November 10, 2012

How to Paint a Wall in 10 Steps

I've been itching for a bit of a change in my apartment, and painting a bright "California Poppy" red accent wall seemed like an adequate way to scratch it...until I get paid again and can blow my paycheck on reindeer pillows, more mistletoe than I'll (n)ever use, and a roast beef that I'd like to practice roasting.

So, friends, how to paint an accent wall...

1) Go to Home  Deport, Lowe's, or other paint store. Look at myriad swatch colors and pick a few. Get crazy. I knew I wanted red going into this, so I stuck with that spectrum. However, I was extremely tempted to drift over to the blue/green colors...Buy supplies and blue paint tape.

2) Go home and tape the little swatches up. Observe them in the daytime and nighttime. Is one red more orange? Rustier? Boo. Go with what makes you happiest (and complements your skin tone--in my case, more blue. Why does this matter? It doesn't). 

3) Go back to Home Depot and buy the color you wanted, and make sure you don't let the girl who looks even younger and more inexperienced with painting than you tell you that you only need a quart. This is a lie. You probably need at least a galloon...taking two trips to HD kind of sucks.

4) Think back to your days of Pictionary and 7th grade art class (why did we have to paint a golf course in water colors?) and realize you have no visual artistic talents whatsoever. Have mild panic attack and call knight in shining armor to make a Saturday morning painting date. In this case, knight = dad. He is taller and wise than I. And has a stepping stool and broom poles to attach little roll-y brush. 

5) Have coffee ready for you and knight. Maybe some carrots for the steed.  Also, tape off corners. 

6) Pup down drop cloths and paint first coat! Revel in your victorious feat...or first coat of half of a wall because the dumb girl at Home Depot told you a quart would be enough. And return all the stuff you bought (except paint) because of course, dad brought everything you'd ever need. 

7) Take a break and run errands, including going back to Home Depot AGAIN for full, glorious galloon of California Poppy.

8) Paint second coat, and be careful not to get your weird textured ceiling with brush. Whoops. Let dry for 1 hour. Use wet paper towel to get as much of paint off of ceiling as possible. Otherwise, let it go and figure out how to hang garland there later. 

9) Realize you'll need a third coat. $&^*!. Pour wine.

10) Pour more wine. Paint third coat. Scrub more paint off the floor than is on the walls. 


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