Sunday, August 14, 2011

I like to chop vegetables.

I wish I could dance like Beyonce. All ma single ladies, do you agree with me? You want the moves like Jagger? I got the moves like Jagger.

Driving home from a recent trip up to Penn State to move my furniture out of my house (and into my garage), my mom experienced my car dancing moves...which are not limited to only the car. As I got my groove on to Beyonce, Katy Perry, Ke$ha and the like, my mom snickered at me from the passenger seat. "Is that how you dance when you're out with friends?" she queried.

Honestly? Most of the time, yes.

This past semester, I was told that I look like I'm chopping vegetables when I dance, something that barely registered on my ego-meter. You see, ever since I was in high school, girlfriends have been trying to teach me how to dance. Slumber parties were spent laughing hysterically (at my expense) as they tried to get me to move my hips in a circular fashion. I can't seem to isolate my hips, so I end up doing a weird sort of shoulder shimmy and moving my arms about as gracefully as I can. I can definitely keep a beat from all my musical training, but I seem to lack a sense of rhythm. Ballroom dancing is an entirely different story, though. Give me a salsa, cha-cha, waltz, or polka and I will KILL IT. I know the moves and can follow the rhythm and beats with a strong lead.

Club dancing, on the other hand, is a totally different beast. Sweaty bodies, sub woofers, and sticky beer-covered floors add to the ambiance. I will bop and move and pretend that I can wiggle those hips with the best of them, and you know what? I LOVE IT. I love to dance. I don't care that I'm mediocre at best. Do I try to incorporate some Beyonce moves every now and then? You betcha. Who doesn't? I will keep my silly dance moves and ENJOY them, because you know what? If some creeper tries to back up on me, at least I can vegetable chop him away.

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