Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Lost in translation? I wish.

At least if I was lost in translation, it would probably be with a human, in which case I could gesticulate and use my non-existent smart phone to look up key phrases. Lost on a highway with dozens of speeding steel machines barreling towards me is a different story, indeed.

Hello, my name is Teal, and I have a problem. Sometimes I get lost for hours when I'm driving to places I'm somewhat familiar/unfamiliar with. My dad says I come by it honestly...I say the roads are always changing just to mess with me

Now, it's not [always] my fault. In my humble opinion, everyone knows that city driving is awful and should be avoided at all costs. But when your brother asks you to pick up his dog to puppy-sit for the weekend (and offers you a lil' chunk of change to do it), why not help a brotha out? TRAFFIC AND HORRIBLE ROAD SIGNAGE, that's why not. I did it anyway, though.

Driving into Washington may be scenic and pretty, but those teeny tiny little signs will get you. Oh, the GW Parkway splits into 2 directions in 100 feet, and I have to choose which side to drive on RIGHT NOW without being able to see the minuscule sign until it's too late? Cool...no big, I don't mind going 20 minutes out of my way to turn around. And forget about actually driving in the city. Dodging pedestrians and bicyclists and then more complicated signs on top of construction add to the tear-laden cocktail with a dash of hopelessness and a spritz of angry phone calls to dad. See? It's not always my fault. One lady did pull up to me, however, and ask where I was trying to go...I presume she heard me through the open windows as I cursed the heavens for my bad luck/inability to see the signs. And yes, I do have a GPS. Sometimes it works, but after using it to drive up to Penn State and arriving 5 hours later (it should've been around 3 1/2), I don't always trust it...and I'm convinced it's been rigged.

The only instance for which I'll take the blame was when I got lost in my closet looking for the bedroom door.


  1. This blog post is seriously the story of my life. I worked for my dad this summer, and most of my work involved driving into DC to deliver/pick up packages. NEVER AGAIN. I got lost every time I drove there and got stuck in rush hour traffic on the way back because I got lost for such a long period of time. Also, when I drove to Arts Fest for the first time this past summer, I followed my GPS because they're supposed to know exactly where to take you? Ahem, no. It took me to a detour, several wrong exits, etc. I guess we just need to have a GPS implanted in our brains. Now THAT would be a great idea.


    Jenna <3

  2. Those GPS's will GETCHA. And that awful traffic on I495 :(